Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sex, booze and ... Jesus?

The other day, a reporter from the Gloucester County Times interviewed rock music critic and Catholic journalist Dawn Eden about her upcoming trip to Glassboro. While relaying their exchange to over 50 young adults at the Landmark Americana Bar & Grill tonight, she couldn't help but laugh recalling the reporter's words: "You guys are going to be talking about Jesus ... in a *bar*?"

We all laughed appreciatively at this, because just about all of us has had to deal with the same question in the weeks leading up to tonight.

The event at Landmark was the first official gathering of the South Jersey chapter of Theology on Tap, a national movement that brings discussions about faith and culture to unlikely places. Landmark was a perfect choice for our group because of its location in the center of the Camden Diocese, plus there's the bonus of it being right down the block from a major state university.

The goal of ToT is to engage young people who might not feel comfortable in church on "their own turf" -- bars, cafes, clubs, you name it. It's a chance to bond over food, booze, and our faith. I mean, how much more could you want out of life?

Tonight, Dawn Eden shared with us her experiences growing up in a liberal family that said sex and marriage weren't sacred. Her parents' divorce left her to spend most of her life feeling unwanted and alone, and following her family's advice, she sought to fill the void with men.

To make a long story short, she discovered the writings of Catholic writer G.K. Chesterton, and it was through him that she began to read Scripture, accept Christ, and finally convert to Catholicism in 2006. Since then, she's been traveling all over the country to speak not necessarily to pious virgins only, but also to those of us who are so stuck in this oversexed generation that we honestly don't know any other way to live.

The idea behind chastity, she said, was not to treat sexual things as some evil we have to fight so hard that it actually makes things worse. Instead, we focus on making communication, strong emotional affection, and quality time the priorities of our relationships. As Catholics, we ask, "How can I show this person the love of God?"

The answer is through mutual respect and dignity, not cheap sex. As Eden said, "God made sex. He WANTS you to have great sex. He just wants you to do it the right way." And for us, that means sharing ourselves completely with only one person: our (future) spouses.

Here's a video of Dawn talking about the chaste life on the Today Show:

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Pulling Over

We're all human.

It's a fact of life that on some days we can be messy, emotional and unfair. As hard as we might try to stick close to the straight and narrow path, sometimes we drift. And then there are times where we stick a certain finger in the air and run off of it. ;)

Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to stay at the top of your game, the harder it becomes to focus and the easier it is to fall? Our heads become so clouded with all of that pressure that eventually we stop fighting, if only for a chance to catch our breaths again.

And it's funny -- when you do stop pressing onward, when you do give up, for a while things feel better ... that is, until you remember that it only came about because you lowered your standards for yourself.

The good news is that no matter the circumstance, mercy is so easy to find and never refused as long as we really want to change. I once joked in confession that it was like hitting the reset button, but I was corrected there: it's not a reset, it's moving forward knowing what our strengths and weaknesses are, but not allowing them to pull us off the road again so easily. We're not expected to never fail ... only to get up again, and keep getting up, when we do.

Confessing it all is letting go of those bonds of secrecy, fear and shame, and celebrating the fact that although we did fall short, we can always come back again. :) It's a beautiful thing.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Pope and the Media

Pope Benedict has been spent the weekend over in England, a historically anti-Catholic country. Despite the murky history, his presence has invigorated Catholics in that country, criticizing the overwhelming secular atmosphere while encouraging a renewal of faith. (It's refreshing to hear him actually speak in a language I can understand, too.)

Of course, the Church being in the state it's in, anything the pope says is going to be met with fierce opposition, which to some extent is fair and justified.

However, I have to admit tonight that as a member of the media, watching the coverage of this trip is torturous. That is, when it's even being covered at all. The prayer vigil with Benediction from Hyde Park earlier this evening wasn't broadcast in English secular media.

The visit been a huge talking point on most of the major news programs on this side of the pond, but they almost completely miss the point.

"Pope speaks to victims of sexual abuse," a headline reads on my AOL homepage. Brian Williams said yesterday that this trip comes as the Church is still reeling from the most recent scandal, but little else. And 6ABC showed plenty of b-roll featuring angry protesters. Never mind the incredible joy and love so obvious in the cheers of thousands at the vigil.

"But tell me what ELSE happened!" I complained at the TV. Part of me can guess what the response in the media would be to that: Nobody cares what else happened. Priests molest little kids. And we're supposed to be the world's watchdogs. Anything else Benedict has to say is unimportant.

Sigh. Wrong.

Both the Catholic and the reporter in me are frustrated tonight. I know it, the Pope knows it, we all know it...the Vatican screwed up big time. They've apologized over and over again, making both spiritual and financial reparation for the sins of that alleged in the clergy that have shamed us. (According to Newsweek, the percentage of abusers in the priesthood is the same as the general population's.) Will the media ever let the Church move forward?

The pack mentality drives me insane. Could we not actually suspend our judgments long enough to do our jobs and cover all sides with fairness? Charity, even?

I guess not.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Plugged In

Over the Labor Day weekend, I went home to spend time with my extended family at my aunt's barbecue. While I was there, my cousin's husband started firing off criticisms each time I glanced at my cell phone or iPod.

Time for a confession: Hi. My name is Melissa, and I'm addicted to my iPod touch.

Like all of my cousins, Pat is like a brother to me and this banter is normal between us. That night, we spawned a fierce debate surrounding the value of social media in today's society. As it turns out, his recent train of thought has been inspired by a book called "The Dumbest Generation," which analyzes the moral and social erosion common in my age group. Mark Bauerlein notes that more often than not, we are motivated and involved with others not on a personal level as our parents are, but a technological one.

Let's face it: it's virtually impossible to walk down Route 322 in Glassboro and not notice someone either talking on the phone, sending a text, or listening to music. Try to catch their eye, and they probably won't notice you (or the oncoming traffic!) at all. In early July when I was interning with a local paper, our supervisor held an informal meeting with all the interns to see how we were adjusting. Two interns had their phones vibrate in the process -- one glanced to see who texted him, and the other picked up her phone to text back as if we weren't even there. Our supervisor pointed it out to the rest of us, and the offending interns looked sheepish. "It's just a habit," she told him honestly.

Tuning out the real world is no longer something we have to work at. It's now a lifestyle. My mother calls it the "tech bubble." We are starving for community, connections and relationships, but it's shallow at best when done through a screen.

We have grown up in a society that is so connected and instantly gratifying, yet what do we have to show for it? The cousin I mentioned above is a manager at a well-known car insurance company, and the current crop of 20-somethings he oversees are often too obsessed with their gadgets to get work done. In noticeable ways, the productivity in that office suffers.

I'm not going to lie; I'm just as guilty of this as a lot of my peers. I do turn off my techie gear when I'm sleeping or at Mass, and make it a point to fast entirely from those things on retreats. In so many ways, we can become distracted by all of these bells and whistles that threaten to pull us out of the here are now. While they're definitely useful, they can also be a great detriment both socially and spiritually. How often do I blow off praying or just taking some me time because I've procrastinated homework in favor of Facebook?

My generation is famous for multitasking. But it's amazing how much more grounded I become when I take even 15 minutes of my day to shut it all off and just be still.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Peace and Swords

"I come not to bring peace, but a sword," Jesus said to His disciples.

This verse is perhaps more relevant than it has ever been before. This past weekend we marked a devastating milestone in our nation's history. Nine years ago on Sept. 11, our lives changed forever.

With the passing of time, the images that we see on TV and the Web of that cloudless morning are more scarce. Public ceremonies were have become less elaborate in recent years. For some Americans, it's gone back to being just another day. My baby cousins will grow up hearing about 9/11, likely feeling detached and unmoved by something that came before their time, as WWII or Vietnam did for me.

There is a serious danger in treating it like just another holiday on the calendar, in my opinion. My Rowan planner that I bought from the bookstore tells me in an almost cheery way that the 11th is "Patriot Day." How quaint.

Personally, it will be impossible to forget even a minute of that day in 7th grade. My uncle is a retired civil engineer who spent much of his career working on the 97th floor of the World Trade Center's North Tower. That morning, as I watched the tower crumble on live television during my third period class, I believed that I had just watched him die along with so many others. My uncle is the most punctual person in the world. He is never, ever late.

Through God's great mercy, he was helping my cousin move into her classroom on 9/11 as she began her teaching career in Newark. He watched his tower fall from on board a later train. Had he been on time that day...well.

What did we learn from it all, nine years later? If you turned on the news for 30 seconds over the last few weeks, you'll know: a proposed Muslim community center in the area has drawn intense emotions from all sides. It's now been dubbed the "Gronud Zero mosque" (though in reality it's a few blocks away) and represents to some a sort of blasphemy toward what for many Americans has become holy ground.

We see that reflected in other places, too, like the quiet Tennessee town that told Muslims building a mosque in the community that they were unwelcome by burning the place down.

And of course, there is Pastor Terry Jones, who tells his small congregation that the Christian answer to the growing influence of Islam is simple: burn the Koran, and do it on 9/11. It took a slew of global religious and political superstars to talk him out of it, and only at the last minute.

In 2001, America banded together as it never had before, because we were all wounded. Yet today, it seems like we've forgotten. Our cries for justice and peace have now become slurs and division.

And that's just shameful.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Revival!

I'm back!

The last post did say farewell for now, didn't it? I hope you missed me, because I missed this blog. In fact, I missed it so much that I actually enrolled in an independent study to get the chance to write for you guys again.

For those of you that are new here, welcome. I'm Melissa, a freelance reporter and Catholic revert. You can catch up on my story thus far by checking out this post.

I'm now a college senior, and there are only eight months standing between me and a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism. It's often hard to believe that the finish line is this close; in so many ways, I just got here.

For now, though, it's good to be back in business. This time, I'm writing to complete a journalism practicum for my fantastic adviser, Claudia Cuddy. You can thank her for the next four months of posting I'll be doing.

While Abide With Us was originally created as an exercise in beat reporting and online multimedia, I now have a lot more freedom with the direction we travel from here. Considering that this is still a journalism course, I'd like to write more about the media and its dealings -- many of them embarrassing -- with religion.

With any luck, I'll also return to sharing the adventures of Rowan's Catholic Campus Ministry, along with my own personal reflections.

Put simply, the new Abide With Us is a whole mess of neat stuff about faith and journalism. And it's going to be fabulous! I hope you (and your friends!) will come along again for the ride. I'll be back soon. :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Farewell Post...For Now

Sixteen weeks ago, I began my first day here at Rowan and, despite being a junior, the adjustment process was still a bit bumpy.

Now, almost as quickly as it began, the semester is over. I survived, and have a good deal of writing to add to my growing resume portfolio. I would have never guessed an entire blog would be added in, though!

As I've mentioned in the past, Abide With Us was a semester-long project for my Online Journalism I course. Friends and my professor have all commented since about my ability to be personal here, and I couldn't help but smile. Allow me to let you in on a little secret: I've been a blogger in various forms for eight years now. ;) Needless to say, I was absolutely thrilled when I learned that blogging would be the cornerstone of this course.

And suddenly, almost strangely, I don't have to write here anymore.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm shutting the site down. It will remain up, with all multimedia intact, until the Internet explodes. Who knows, now and again I may return with comments on the Church and the media. I'd love to work the religion beat someday. A girl can dream, right?

Thank you to Fr. Larry Polansky, Msgr. John Burton and Fr. Tom Kiely for giving your time (and faces!) to make my feature stories come together. Thanks also to Lois Dark and Ann Polo for allowing me to record at CCM meetings. I'm blessed for having all of you as mentors.

Mark Berkey-Gerard, my professor, made this blog possible, and has turned me into a multimedia princess in the process. I'll be back on the web with him next semester--I'll post a link when things settle down.

And for those of you who have read faithfully or have just stumbled here while looking for cupcake recipes, I appreciate you coming along on both my faith journey and that of Rowan's Catholic community.

Have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year.

Peace be with you!
Melissa

Resources

There's so much more I wish I could write about here, but given the Catholic faith spans nearly 2000 years, it's ground I won't be able to cover on my own. However, I do want to leave you my top five book recommendations that will further explain much of what Abide With Us has explored.


* Catholicism for Dummies by Frs. John Trigilio and Kenneth Brighenti- This should be the first book purchased by anyone curious about Catholicism. The For Dummies series is famous for its simple, engaging writing style, as well as mini-lessons, handy charts and trivia. Written by two priests, it's incredibly thorough and has an index for looking up specific questions.


* Swimming with Scapulars by Matthew Lickona- When I grow up, I want to be Matthew Lickona. He's a newspaper columnist for the San Diego Reader, writing reviews of various worship services in the area. His new book is about living as a young, devout Catholic in today's world. Funny, honest and sometimes intense, if you like what you've read in this blog even a little, pick up this book.
  
* Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn- To be a bit personal, this book was a huge player in leading me back to the Church, and many others credit Dr. Hahn for influencing their faith. Hahn and his wife Kimberly recount candidly and rationally their gradual conversion to Catholicism. This includes tons of Scriptural support for every step of their "journey home." I recommend all of Hahn's work, but this one is a favorite.


* Saints Behaving Badly by Thomas Craughwell- I mentioned this book before when I covered saints, and definitely have to add it to the list. Not only is it educational, but it gives a very real sense of how human and imperfect the Church's saints are. Some of the examples are actually downright comical.

* Introduction to Mary by Mark Miravalle- This book is written by an ordained deacon and covers all of the central elements of Mary's role in our salvation. It also deals with uniquely Catholic beliefs like the Immaculate Conception, Assumption, and her perpetual virginity. This is an easy read and a solid springboard into other Marian works.

Ten more days until Christmas. It's not too late!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Gathering God's Gifts: A New Future for the Diocese

Note: This post is my final project for my coursework, and is therefore a bit more formal and lengthy. Consider yourself warned. ;) Click the play button to the left of each media player to hear clips from audio interviews. Comments are always welcome!

After over two years of intense debate, discussion and prayer, Bishop Joseph Galante of the Diocese of Camden made a sobering address to Catholics of South Jersey: it was time to reconfigure.

In 2006, there were around 175 priests in active ministry for the diocese. That number has been steadily dropping since, and trends suggest there will be only 85 remaining by 2015. This shortage of priests has only further constricted the tight schedules of those still active; some are already serving as pastor for two or more parishes. Similar problems can be found in areas nationwide. In the most dire situations, some parishes are no longer able to celebrate daily or even weekly Masses.

The solution has come in the form of mergers, clusters and closures of many churches in the area. It has been a difficult process that is still progressing in many places, but a few have already completed their mergers.

The initiative, called Gathering God's Gifts, began in 2004 when Bishop Galante first arrived in South Jersey. He held "speak up sessions" throughout the diocese, inviting clergy and laypeople alike to openly express their concerns and suggestions for strengthening the Church locally. From these talks, six points of focus were developed, among them worship, lifelong formation (growth in faith), and young adult ministry.

Parishes then submitted a proposal to the bishop with their suggestions for the future of their community. Galante considered these proposals and on April 3, 2008, declared his intentions for each parish in the diocese. According to an article from the Associated Press, the diocese's 124 churches will be cut down to just 66.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I Confess

I still remember very well the day I walked into my church two years ago and made the first honest confession of my sins. I didn't know the priest; he had arrived after I left the faith, and was new to my parish. I rambled about it having been a long time, about always lying in the past to the priests and bragging afterward. He told me it would be okay, just to sit, relax and talk about it.

I told him everything, and when I was done, I heard these familiar words: "God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of His Son has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good and His mercy endures forever. The Lord has freed you from your sins; go in peace."

Just like that, ten tons of weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Everything was behind me. I was home.

Most converts and "reverts" like myself can tell a story like this one. It's usually one of the most difficult things they'll ever do for their faith, but the majority will admit that when it's over, the joy is indescribable.

Some get upset with the Church when they hear we confess our sins to a priest. Men can't forgive sins, they might say, and there is no mediator between God and man but Jesus. So where do flawed priests get the authority to forgive sins? How is the Sacrament of Confession biblical at all? These two verses explain the foundation:

[Jesus said to Peter,] "I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." --Matthew 16:19

"(Jesus) said to them again, 'Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.' And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.'" --John 20:21-23

Jesus gave His Apostles the power to wipe away sins in His name, and because the Apostles passed their authority on to others, all our priests can forgive sins. It's not his own authority that does it, but the power of God working through him. We confess our sins simply because the Bible tells us to; the book of James says plainly, "Confess your sins to one another" (5:16). Why would Jesus allow men to forgive sins if he didn't want us to confess to them?

Confession gives us the closure that is sometimes absent from just asking God to forgive us. Like all our Sacraments, it's a real and physical way to express what is happening spiritually. The best part is that our priests are bound to utmost secrecy. Every priest I've spoken with has said that they forget our sins almost immediately, no matter how heinous. Plus, it's also good to have an objective confidante who can counsel us, and spot patterns or motivators we would otherwise overlook.

This video, while humorous, does a fantastic job shedding more light on Confession. There are six minutes of actual content and then bloopers, so it's really not that bad. Check it out; you'll be glad you did.

One last note: kneeling behind the screen is optional today. Many people, particularly in my generation, were raised confessing in a comfortable and well-lit room, face to face with their priest. You usually have a choice of both options. It's also a good idea to choose a priest with whom you feel comfortable.